Why we quit praying

"What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions1 are yat war within you? 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions." James 4:1-4

I listened to a message by James MacDonald this morning that really got me thinking. The premise to His message was basically this: we don't pray God's way because when we pray God's way we don't get the results that we think we should get, so we just talk about it more than actually doing it. We just quit praying. I think the preacher is exactly right, and the reason is because of James 4:3, if we're honest we're far more concerned about "things" than character change in our lives.

In my own prayer life, I pray more about outcomes and circumstances changing (bills paid, people healed, a job, situations resolved) than I do about my own character (right attitudes, right responses, cultivation of godly virtues, and a Christ like mind).

I think, sadly, in my own life, my prayers a reflection of my entitlement mentality and American materialism. I'd rather have Him work for me than in me. That materialism finds its way into the most private moments with God when I am more consumed with my selfish wants than God's ultimate glory. (James 4:3) Most of the time I'm more concerned with HIS DOING than MY BEING, that's why I just want situations to change, and not necessarily my character. But I wonder on the other side of things, which one God cares more about: a situation changing or "Christ being formed in me." (Galatians 4:19)

I think this is what James means, when he says in verse 3, "You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your own passions." It hurts to admit this, but in my own life, my prayers center on the OUTCOME that I WANT, rather than the PROCESS God is WORKING in me. God is a giver of good gifts, and His ways are best for us, and He is for us, and He desires to give us the best gifts, but to what end? The reason God gives us good gifts is because it glorifies Him. What if our faith in the midst of a struggle and our perseverance in the midst of difficulty glorifies Him more?

I wonder how much different my prayer life would be if I was asking God to renew my character instead of

demanding that He answer my petulant, childish wants? How much different would my time with God be if I was more concerned with the process than the outcome? How much different would I look at the end if I was more concerned with BEING what Christ wanted than I was about Him DOING what I wanted. In the end, God is more concerned with our character, than our comfort. He is more concerned with His DESIGNS, than our DEMANDS